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  • 适合发快手的搞笑句子

      1、如果你想要尊重妹子操作方式只需能把她照片拍美美的。

      2、某空姐在飞机上碰到旅客要靠枕,告知经济舱无枕头,他都反复强调自己的腰不好。万般无奈的从头等舱弄了一个枕头,在下飞机的途中非得要我的联系方式。

      我反复表示不方便给。他非得知道那里不方便。你的腰不好,肾都不行的人要了也没用。

      3、今天有个妹纸来应聘,她的条件都符合公司的要求。最后要宣布录用她的时候,她突然拿出手机测试了一下我们公司的Wi-Fi,最后她耸耸肩拒绝道:“不好意思,你们公司的Wi-Fi太慢了,这样的工作环境不太适合我!抱歉!打扰了!”

      ​​​​​​​

      4、“不要让孩子输在起跑线上”是没有意义的,因为你就是起跑线本人,你的孩子早就输了。

      5、好几年前了,小区门口新开一小商店,准备追里面一收银小哥哥(贼帅),每天都要去光顾好多次,每次都去买点不值钱的东西,然后装比拿100元让小哥哥找钱。

      过了一段时间,他突然主动跟我说话:“你是做什么的?天天上我这来换零钱!”

      6、今天顾客拿着一盒BYT来退货,气呼呼的说,上个月在这买了两盒用了一盒,但是女朋友还是怀孕了,质量不好。我就安慰他说:“这不是套的问题,可能是你戴了,别人没戴啊。”

      然后,顾客深深陷入沉思,表情狰狞的离开了……

      7、今天回家路上,看到一只小鸟受伤了还在地上蹦啊蹦!小鸟属于蓝天,岂能这么小就折翼?于是我捧起它用力地往天上一扔,希望能让它重新飞翔!哎!好心做坏事!摔死了……结果邻居王大爷拿个棍子攆了我两条街,嘴里还气愤的骂:“小兔崽子,我今天非揍死你!好好个鸡崽子你给我摔死了!”

      8、跟女友认识两个多月,异地,清明小长假过去陪她,开心地玩了三天,最后一天去了酒店。

      结果小长假后女友发信息来说,觉得我们不适合,要分手。

      9、登山时遇到前女友,我没吭声,默默跟在她屁股后面。过了一会儿她让到一旁说:“你先走,要活命快走!”我问她怎么了?她说:“我现在脑子里有两个小人,一个说左脚一个说右脚,都叫我把你踹下山去。”

      10、感觉过了08年奥运会后自己对时间的概念不是那么明确了…

      11、小偷偷了一只鸡,正在河边给鸡拔毛,这时一个警察走了过来,小偷急忙把鸡仍到了河里。警察问:你在干什么?河里是什么东西?小偷说:那是一只鸡,它要过河去,我在这里帮它看衣服……

      12、网络流行的所谓的“空巢青年”画像:一人独居 ,两眼惺忪,三餐外卖,四季淘宝,五谷不分。嗯,就是我了!



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